I can turn this around to men. I see plenty pursuing the slender sexy gal who always dresses in short skirts and heels, spends too much time in the beauty parlor, etc. Yet these guys wonder why "all women are psychos" or "all women are lying whores". The answer is they only pursue one type of woman and thus picked the type that ends up generally as shallow, spoiled, psycho, deceiving, etc.
For some reason, nice guys seem to get the fortified walls and jerks get the hearts. I will never understand dating, but thankfully understanding dating is not required to end up happy and content in life .
One stand alone behaviour doesn't make an abusive type but several do (one of the books I am thinking of has checklists of traits to look for - right there in black and white, written by a specialist in the field of abuse and anytime you need you can dip into the book to take a look) you seem to be 'aware' of these traits but you're making excuses and not acting upon them.
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