Why do I do this when I know better? Do I need to move before it will stop? How can I control my obsessive thoughts that I know are hurtful to me AND to my relationship? Please help!
I would say your husband crossed the line when he lied to you. There's a reason he lied...what he did was wrong, wrong, WRONG. I would have major issues and not be able to trust him (personally) after this.
The 'dignity' part gives you more chance to win her back if she does change her mind and it is far better for your self respect not to 'beg' - although almost everyone does it to some extent. However, when people tell you to work on yourself, that's actually for your own sake and has nothing to do with getting her back. Once you focus on you and stop thinking about what you have lost, you will almost certainly decide that you are better off without her.
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