No matter which option you choose he still deserves to know what you've been up to. See, I would 100% divorce you. Even if after this you cut this other guy out of your life completely? I would divorce you, and do you know why I would? It would be because of the last sentence of your post. The fact you even need to ask if this would be crossing the line would, to me, tell me I can never trust you again. You are in your 30's, if you haven't learned by now it would be crossing the line you never will, so I'd cut my losses and find someone else.
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