So tell her this and her reaction is all you will need to kn ow. If she says ok and drops the friend, then you will have to go through some form of couples counselling to explore what boundary issues are present in you relationship.
The fact of the matter is, you both want things in a relationship. In this relationship, he gets EVERYTHING he wants and you get whatever he feels he's okay giving you. That's not a ****ing relationship.
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